The Egg
By: Andy Weir
It was a car accident.
Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife
and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best
to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were
better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met
me.
“What… what happened?”
You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said,
matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck
and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad
about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There
was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the
afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You
asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m
God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you
said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all
right?”
“That’s what I like to
see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s
good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with
fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or
possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school
teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said.
“They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They
didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside,
but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If
it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what
happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said.
“You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the
Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right
in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we
strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,”
I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point,
then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby.
So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You
have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You
just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and
took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and
gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny
fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to
see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and
when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human
for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of
your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start
remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I
been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots.
An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a
Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You
stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess
technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are
different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?”
You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained
“I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know
you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t
understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little
let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could
have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the
time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know
it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of
it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little
stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable
question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye.
“The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to
mature.”
“You mean mankind? You
want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made
this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become
a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about
everyone else?”
“There is no one else,”
I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at
me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different
incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,”
I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being
who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live,
yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes
Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said,
appalled.
“And you’re the millions
he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who
followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you
victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of
kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever
experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long
time.
“Why?” You asked me.
“Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you
will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re
my child.”
“Whoa,” you said,
incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a
fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all
time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,”
you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered.
“Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your
way.
*******
Thanks to Andy for giving us a masterpiece of writing,I hope you carry this with your life
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